i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
