I accidentally burped into my bong.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
