xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
