I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
