Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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