She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We need to rekindle our bromance
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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