Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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