part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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