i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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