Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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