At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
