I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
