this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
