It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
