I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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