You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
