i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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