This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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