Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone š
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someoneās about to die or youāre being a hoe.
And, by āmake you dinnerā I mean āhave lots of sex and multiple orgasms.ā So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
