If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
