if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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