Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
