Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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