I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
