Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
