I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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