i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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