Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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