@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
