So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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