I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
