o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
