you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
