Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
