i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
