Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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