I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
