You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my liver is dry heaving
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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