it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
