She is in my trunk
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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