Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
