Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
