Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just want nice things and good sex
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
