when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
