Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
