look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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