spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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