Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
