Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
