i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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