I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
